Blog

  • Fuck Wayne Gretky With a Hockey Stick

    Yes, this is Gretzky watching a hockey with Trump fart sniffer Kash Patel.

    That is all. C’est tout.

  • “Fuck Trudeau” is still the Conservatives best policy statement

    But not for reasons they would like.

    It’s not hard to see the Liberal government of the past ten years has not been one of economic success after another. Trudeau has not been a great Prime Minister. Probably not, in the grand scheme of things, even a good one.

    As a result of this, the opposition has plenty of ammunition to fight a policy battle with the Liberals. Unfortunately for those in the country with real conservative policy concerns and thought, their natural party is not a party that is capable of having real policy discussion. It could be argued that’s not a new thing.


    One of the reasons I find election campaigns edifying is that it forces parties and their leaders to enunciate their plans. (Often enough these are notional or outright misleading, but it is good to see what either the parties want to do or what they think the voters would like them to do.) This leads to the real problem with PP and this group of Conservatives – they have been campaigning *for years* with simple personal attacks (“Fuck Trudeau” signs etc.) to stoke rage in their base, but up to now have offered very little in the manner of clear policy. This is why poll trackers note that there was an up-tick in the Liberal vote at the expense of the Conservatives the moment Trudeau announced his resignation.

    Enter Donald Trump.

    Now that the political times have so radically changed and the election call forced all parties to present their policy platforms, most of what anyone is saying is just dust in the political wind. With Trump’s open aggression towards Canada and the rest of the political West, and the on-again off-again threats of tariffs, it’s difficult for the average person to easily name a firm policy of any party with all that is going on.

    Given the turmoil and confusion in the news, we are left mainly with impressions of what we know about each party and its leader rather than details. This is true for all parties.

    So, what exactly do we know about each party, what are the impressions that we hold? Justin Trudeau was quick to express what we would learn was real – that Donald Trump was serious about his desires to annex our fair land, and by doing so strongly, even the loathed former PM managed a noble and popular exit from the political scene. His replacement, Mark Carney, is a new, serious-appearing face on the political scene, and appears to be making the right mouth sounds about the USA and Canada’s need to assert it’s own independence.

    The Conservatives are also a known quantity, but what is known about them is a liability in the current climate. Where the Liberal leadership is seen to be fighting for Canada (even Trudeau’s popularity began to rise owing to his response to Trump’s threats), it’s too easy to point to videos of PP backing the treacherous trucker convoy fucks, playing footsies with far right groups like Diagolon, and reams of ads in which they simply whine about what the Liberals do. While “Axe the Tax” is in itself a policy statement, it is not of the current time. Verb the Noun isn’t cutting it anymore. Liberal attack ads write themselves.

    So we have a Liberal party that appears to be fighting the good fight and a Conservative party that uses the same stoke-the-right fear-mongering that worked for Trump. The result is that the electorate is responding with most parties losing votes to the Liberals. Disaffected conservatives leave to vote for a Liberal party they see as better defending Canada under a leader that looks a hell of a lot like a Red Tory from an earlier epoch, and NDP voters also strategically moving to back the Liberals.

    This is not particularly fair to real conservatives, and there are there are serious and smart people in the party that would have these discussions, but they aren’t getting any air because the Conservative Party of Canada is no longer a party capable of serious political discussion. The CPC is now dominated by the social right-wing that created the Reform Party that ultimate swallowed the old Progressive Conservatives and shat out what we have now.

    Stephen Harper managed to keep the party relevant for a time, because he managed to silence the louder social right voices for a time, but he did it on promises, implicit and spoken, that they would get some of what they wanted in time. Ultimately they did not get what they wanted and the result is PP, who is simply an anthropomorphised squeaky wheel. He is the logical leader of such a group and he will politically die with a “Fuck Trudeau” button on his empty suit.

  • Electoral Collusion

    Electoral Collusion

    We Canadians are fortunate for many, many reasons. One of them is that our adversaries, though numerous, are often fucking dumb as posts.

    In recent months, increasing economic attacks directed at Canada by the Trump regime, combined with repeated verbal taunts and pettiness made it clear to all with eyes and ears that Donald Trump is fixated on annexing Canada after bringing the country to its knees economically.

    Justin Trudeau, the unpopular outgoing prime minister, rose to the occasion, rallying Canadians to gird up for the economic fight of our lifetime and reiterated Trump’s serious desire to annex the nation. Canadians, not used to this kind of direct threat, rallied behind Trudeau and the Liberals and the party gained momentum in the polls at the expense of all opposition parties, but massively from the Conservatives. It seems now that the party momentum has been maintained by the selection of Mark Carney.

    This has placed the Cons in a very dicey spot.

    The polls began to turn against the Cons early in this process, in part because of the popularity of Trudeau’s handling of the issue and also in part because of the view that many Canadians had that Poilievre was just a little too like Trump; too eager to take advantage of populist anger, a little too eager to play footsies with the far right, a little too prone to bitching about “woke” this and that. This wasn’t helped earlier in the year when Trump opined that dealing with Poilievre would be “…very good. Our views would be more aligned, certainly”.

    This all seemed just a little too… sensible.

    After the Liberals chose Mark Carney to be heir apparent and their momentum continued as they caught and passed the Cons in the polls, desperation within Cons circles became a palpable thing.

    Then, four or five days ago, out of nowhere it seems, in an “interview” with one of the FauxNews blonde interviewbots, Trump explained that he didn’t like Poilievre and felt that a Liberal government would be “easier to deal with”.

    Because this came so far out of nowhere, and Trump is so steadfastly stupid, it was obvious that someone had whispered in his ear that his attacks on Canada were hurting his boy PPs chances in the upcoming election and he had to nix the pro-Cons talk for a bit. Unfortunately for Trump, he was trapped by his own tariff rhetoric and had already delayed kicking the tariffs off a couple of times for reasons that really didn’t seem to make sense. He was in no position to postpone them again. The only latitude he had was to burp out a “Poilievre has said mean things about me and I don’t like him and I think Libs are pushovers anyway so there, nah!”

    Well, it turns out that we now know who was whispering in his ear, because she is the monumentally stupid premier of Alberta, Danielle Smith, who blabbed about this on American right-wing network Breitbart.

    ...so I would hope that we could put things on pause so that we can get through an election...

    You are as dumb as you are malicious. This is saying out loud that you approached a foreign government with a request to interfere in the Canadian electoral process. Jesus H Christ, Danielle, do an illegal is one thing, but ixnay on the appinflay of the outhmay.

    Seriously, there should be an investigation into this.

  • Let the Games Begin

    Today (March 23) marks the start of the election campaign and I thought it might be a good time to throw down some initial thoughts.

    PP says that the PM has to be “respectful and firm” with the US.

    Well, PP, respect is a two-way street. In words and deeds, Trump has expressed his disrespect of our leadership and our nation (hell, our existence *as* a nation). He doesn’t want to trade with us, thinking we will bend the knee when our economy fails.

    What he hasn’t mathed out, because what he is really doing is just grabbing bits of his own economy for his corporate pals, is that Canada has a whole world to trade with that we haven’t been trading with because of our proximity to large US markets. Once we have pivoted to these other markets, and this is going to take some time to be sure, there will be no need to pivot back.

    The best PM is *not* going to be one that licks Trump’s boots, but rather, one that has the smarts to make this pivot as quickly and seamlessly as possible. Yes, they have nearly ten times our population and their economy dwarfs ours. But, we have the natural resources, the industry, and an outward look to the rest of the world, so we don’t need to remain married economically to the USA. The next PM will flatten the trade barriers between provinces, expand our relations with Europe and Austrasia, and build up our military because, well, we share a very long border with a hostile nation.

    I am a default NDP voter, but will be backing Mark Carney this time around because in his short time on the stage he has already shown to have a vision that aligns with mine.

    This is not time for Verb the Noun, PP. It’s time for Noun Adverb.

    Elbows Up.

  • The Beaver Has Landed

    Brace yourselves for torrents of outrage with a side of cynicism.

    Welcome, friends, to the shitshow that never ends. We have things to say, and we’re bustin’ to say them. Expect opinion, fact, foul language, name-calling, disrespect, credit where it’s due, and large helpings of thoughtful and/or angry commentary.

    More to come.

    -Flash